I had my first diagnostic lap at the beginning of the year and it went pretty well (for a surgery). The doctor found a small amount of Endo which she removed and the biopsy came back negative for adeno. They also ended up removing my appendix because it was weird and they thought that might be part of my pain. It was nice to learn that something was actually wrong and I'm grateful for everyone here that helped sooth my concerns about the procedure itself.

I was feeling pretty good after two weeks. Better than I've felt in a really long time and it was really really nice.

But it didn't even last the week. I started having pain again. Worse than before. It isn't responding as well to my usual pain medication and sex has become unbearable. Before I would have mild, bearable pain during and generally an attack of pain after orgasming. But now I have more severe pain throughout and I don't even know how describe afterwards.

I had the lap because the frequency of my pain had increased and I thought it would help. Maybe it has. I don't know. But I feel really useless and broken right now. I've been having a difficult time focusing and, while I'm still happy with my relationship, we've stopped being physically intimate, which was very important to me. It made me feel good about my body and it was nice to please my partner in that way. I was able to deal with the occasional pain because of that. Now I don't know what to do.

Maybe this is too much information, but I'm feeling so lost and I can feel my depression creeping back into my mind.