I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this. I’ve had a couple of months now where I’ve been in pain every single day. I’m sick of being like this. None of my friends can properly understand and I feel like I’m boring them or being annoying when I’m telling them I’m in pain all the time. I’m stressed that I’m too ill to work but I can’t afford not to work. I’m on the waiting list for surgery on the NHS but don’t have any hope that it will be soon and I’m just in limbo until then taking pain meds every day and wishing I was in a different body. I feel like I’m missing out on experiences because I either can’t go because I’m in pain or I’m not present because I’m thinking about my pain. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore and I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless and alone.