Mostly people I know personally, and especially if I'm close with them. One of my friends told me something they've been going through and I find it difficult to cope with. I can physically feel their sorrow within myself, even though I was fine earlier.

I feel so bad that I wasn't there for them (even though I couldn't have, we didn't even know each other then), but I want to redirect my efforts towards focusing on supporting them in the here and now. But I'm unsure if that would be right for me.

I feel conflicted:

-On one hand, I really want to support them and listen to their struggles and try to help them,

-but on the other, I really dislike hearing about the weaknesses and shortcomings of the people I'm close to since I can be very judgmental (in my head, of course, I don't let myself say anything hurtful), and also because I can find it difficult to bear their pain.

I want to share their pain though.

Can I get some advice?