Let me start off by saying this. I am in no way telling anyone who or how they should forgive, nor am I saying that I am some holier than thou person who looks down upon those who cant forgive or who hold grudges, At the end of the day its your life not mine. With that said let me tell you the story of what spurred this edition of "An Empaths Internal Dialog:

I grew up in a town of 300 people and a graduating class of 58. Everyone knew everyone and their business, and if they didn't know they were gonna make it up. Now I was the kind of guy who was friends with anyone who would be nice to me. Being outed as Gay at 12 I didn't have the luxury of making enemies of my few friends. There were times when one of my friends would be made at a different friend of mine. Refusing to play politics because the situation had nothing to do with me, often got me caught in limbo between the two friends.

Baker was my age, got into drugs early, failed relationships, lost her kids due to drugs, and was the last gf of Kaytee's best friend before he committed suicide. Kaytee also didn't have it easy growing up, she's independent, sometimes curt but always caring. She is a few years old than us and has always been a meditating hippie (minus her problem with her anger-_-) Kaytee's friend, Bakers on again off again boyfriend left this world when we're still in high school. AS you can imagine there was some bad blood between the two.

Fast forward 10 years Baker has turned her life around, is sober, been on a very similar spiritual path as myself, and it's been really awesome to see. So I posted something about the mass meditation on the 21st and tagged them both since they both meditate. Much to my surprise Kaytee still has intense feelings of rage toward Baker. So much so that she messaged me and asked " why am I tagged with that trash" (she also commented that on the post). She continues to freak out on me, saying Baker is nothing because she doesn't have her kids blah blah. To which I said, "We all make mistakes, we all have a past, and we are all deserving of redemption. She has really turned her life around and is on a similar path of spirituality." Her reply took me by surprise, " My path is my own and unlike anyone else's. I get you see similarities but my path is true, yours is new and hers is fake af"

I myself have a past with drugs and I have done things that I am not proud of. I have done a lot of work to turn myself into someone I'm proud of. I know that it's possible. If I am to be forgiven then I must first forgive. I have always had that mentality. All of my life my friends have looked at me like I'm some Gandhi when it comes to the topic of forgiveness. Sometimes they even see me as again being "holier than thou" It's just frustrating seeing someone who I know is capable of so much love hold on to something so dark for so long. Thank you for listening, this has been another edition of "An Empaths Internal Dialog"