We've been talking this over for months. We're in our 40s. We own a house together. My parents and his dad and stepmom (his mom is deceased) are very happy that we're getting married, but they think it's going to be in 2023 and that we're having it at a girlscout camp, but we changed our minds months ago. There are pros and cons to telling our parents beforehand and waiting until after. However, my mom is known for spinning things to be about her and then throwing a temper tantrum and not talking to me for a year or two. She's been better since I almost died in a fire in 2020, but I feel like she will be hurt that she didn't know we were eloping and it will cause drama. I think she might be better if we tell her beforehand and explain why we're doing things this way.

1. We have both been married before. We've done the big fancy wedding thing and have no desire to do it again.

2. We just bought a house and can't afford a wedding, reception and honeymoon. This way, we are taking our two best friends (a married couple) with us for a long weekend at a vacation rental, we're having a small ceremony there, going out to a nice dinner and then spending the weekend doing whatever we want.

3. His 15 year old tries to control everything. He made the exciting time of buying a house miserable and we don't want to take the chance of him trying to ruin the wedding, and there is a really good chance he would.

I felt bad for a bit that my sons (12 and 15) won't be there but their dad got married a few years ago and they were less than impressed about having to dress up and stuff. They already see us as married, so I don't see it mattering at all to them.