i made a throwaway just to post, but i'm super nervous bc even typing this out with the thought of strangers seeing it makes me feel so dirty. it's just that i need to talk about it, i can't help myself. sorry, this post might be long and relatively tame compared to most others on here.

this has always been one of my favorite subreddits, but i always came when i opened it up and started pushing my vibrator into my clit. i couldn't really get the appeal of waiting, not when it felt SO good to come. it's just that a few weeks ago, i read this smutty fantasy story where there was a prince (FtM) that came from a conservative background and had never touched himself or even knew what that meant, and when he had his clit sucked - the first time he'd ever felt anything down there - he immediately squirted within two seconds.

reading that drove me crazy. i can't describe the way my pussy clenched when i first read it. i kept going back to that section and getting so horny i needed to sneak to the bathroom and get off. the thing is, i live in a country that has one of those powerful little showerheads next to the toilet, and if any other person with a pussy has too, they know exactly what i'm saying when i say that thing is addictive and it's probably how they learned what coming was and how good it felt. it's also really easy to get desensitised to fingers and anything else slow and soft - i've made myself come with my fingers before, but it's always taken too long, and i've wished for that little showerhead or my vibrator the entire time. the thought of being so pent up that i could squirt from a few seconds of someone suckling my clit drove me wild.

three weeks ago, i started edging. at first, i couldn't handle it. i edged for an hour and came by then end. then, i edged in the morning and came at night. then, i edged in the morning and at night (i live with family, those are the only times i can disappear), and came the next morning. as of today, i'm edged about four and half days. i know the idea of squirting immediately from stimulation is unrealistic, but i want to get to a point where i'm so pent up that just fingers playing with my clit and fucking into me is enough to get me shaking and moaning. pushing my fingers into myself really drives me crazy - i'm so fucking tight, and i want to stretch so bad, i stuff one and then two and by the time i stuff three they're all folding over each other and i can't even spread or seperate them inside me because i'm clenching so hard. i've only ever had sex with a woman, but the thought of a thick cock stretching me until i'm sore gets my hot, pink pussy contracting and my clit throbbing. i've ruined a lot the past days, twice or thrice with just my fingers stuffed inside me and nothing else, not even touching my clit, not even fucking them into me.

god, i need a dildo. the past few weeks i've gone whiny reading all the people here cockwarming a dildo all day, wishing that was me. even better, i need a real cock to sit on. i've heard it's hot when it goes in, and you feel it throb and leak. i need that so badly i might be going crazy. on the other hand, i want a hot woman to use a massive strap and pound into me, maybe a knotted one, get me desperate and wet and begging and then fuck it into me and watch me cry as the stretch burns. i genuinely don't know what to do with myself. just lying here rubbing my nipples to sleep, since they give me shaky little, largely unsatisfying orgasms that make me want to plug my pussy with my hand again.

i'm relatively masc, hair short but long enough to pull, small (?) tits (like, between 32B and 34C), and a pale pink pussy that goes bright pink-red when i tease it. it drives me crazier that people think i'm a top, while in bed i'm the whiniest little thing just begging to be stuffed and fucked. (please don't use girl-related temrs with me. all the pussy-related terms i've used are okay.)