I was on day 11, I think, of denial today... And so so so horny! I've been edging pretty much every day, turning my brain to mush but not cumming, being a good boy. Except today, I kinda lost it and after pathetically begging my Reddit doms for permission and getting no response (we live in different time zones, the time was off, it was to be expected and not their fault at all), I went and kept rubbing and stroking anyway. I was so horny and a bit annoyed because they haven't been paying much attention to me lately... First, I made myself have an amazingly frustrating twitchy ruin... And then I brought myself to a legit, full orgasm. Physically, in the moment, the release felt so good, but it's been a few hours and I still feel so guilty. And the fact that I'm already just as horny again.... It's never worth it but I don't learn, do I?