I'm on day 15 of no touch out of 50, and it's getting increasingly difficult. More than two weeks of this subreddit, sexting, reading goonbabble, receiving porn, it's slowly starting to erode my mind. I feel my kinks starting to change, I get increasingly more dominant and agressive. I've stared down women at the swimming pool like a predator, and it doesn't take a lot for me anymore to feel the heat tingle and spread. I find myself wondering what's in my inbox the moment I put my phone away, and my thoughts are lost in a never-ending loop of tantalizing, teasing imagery. I begin to have a harder time stringing together coherent sentences, I think my IQ might be dropping slightly. For now I am still in control, but I start to wonder if I'll lose it completely at some point in this journey. The lust spreads from a tingling sensation all through my body, and is slowly corrupting my mind. I didn't used to be into tieing up young girls, but suddenly I am. I didn't used to be into DDLG, but suddenly I am. I even found myself dreaming of CNC the other night, enjoying a girls helpless whimpers. I find myself enjoying the stimulation of bumping my crotch into things a lot more. I am usually very disciplined, controlled, orderly, perfectionist, but I find my grasp loosening.

I want to go deeper. I feel like I'm slowly, gradually, sinking into an abyss of lustful insanity. I want to reach the point where my cock makes me do things, I never thought I'd do.