Anyone else experience the volume turned down on life when not gooned the fuck out. I just had a fun little midweek break where I got to goon for like 48 hours. Not straight, I slept and ate and whatnot. But I took off work, smoked endless weed and fucked myself silly for hours and hours and hours.

But now that it’s over, regular masturbation just doesn’t seem as fun. Sure, I still need to bust a nut or two (or four!) a day but they’re just not as enjoyable as my gooning marathons. Ruined orgasms, absolute filthy porn, sex toys galore…these are the ways! Stroking to bust a quick nut still feels good, don’t get me wrong, but I just crave those depraved sessions where I can go as deep as I want.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way because what I’m feeling isn’t revolutionary. But I guess that’s what makes being able to goon all the more sweet. I think if I lived alone and didn’t have to worry about a job or money or anything like that and was able to indulge in porn 24/7, it would lose some of its luster. The scarcity makes it enjoyable! But now I’m talking economics and not porn!

Long story short: Gooning is awesome, regular masturbation just can’t compare.