Recently I’ve been on a hiatus from Reddit (and life quite frankly) due to some health issues (don’t worry though, I’m starting to feel better). In this time, I seem to have lost a sub as he deleted his account.

I’m not surprised by this action but disappointed nonetheless.

When this is particular sub pledged to follow me and joined the House of Eternal Night, he was conflicted with his role. I’ve been known to attract submissive men, mostly inherently submissive men who are made by design for worship, although it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve attracted a brat or a switch. My long term partner is bratty himself and thus I’m not foreign to dealing with brattiness. This sub came to me as a switch though, one who held onto his own false notions of masculinity and what it meant to be a man in a kink space cultivated by submission.

Initially, he came to me on a no touch journey and asked to be broken into submission. As a result, although edging is a particular niche of mine, I told him to cum to release himself from these shackles. This was difficult for him but he did it and he did need to take some time to process these emotions. I understood of course and told him to take all of the time he needed.

This sub and I rarely saw eye to eye but I had very high aspirations for him. One of my loyal followers made a post in the Shrine about how a commitment to me is also a commitment to self improvement, and I agree with this entirely. I was willing to work with this submissive, to help him break down the barriers of his toxic masculinity and to help him navigate the world through a new lens of self improvement, acceptance, and confidence. His devotion to me also meant a commitment to himself that I should only hope he’d fulfil despite the fact that he seemed far more interested in an in-person dominatrix session than anything else. I still had high hopes for him though.

He recently sent me a message about how I had broken him from his shackles; I had given him a taste of freedom to cum, to touch himself, to experience sexual gratification… and now he never wanted to go back to his no touch journey. He had continued to cum after I had given him the approval despite the fact that I never allowed him to continue to cum. I was disappointed but gave him the benefit of the doubt that perhaps my instructions that had not been clear. Quite frankly, if I believed that he could have handled a public lashing, I would’ve done it but I didn’t think he would recover from it so I opted not to.

When I saw that he had deleted his account amidst my Reddit hiatus, I wasn’t surprised although I was disappointed. I had hoped that he and I had made more progress than that. I see now that we hadn’t. He loved me and he feared me. He respected me as a domme but wouldn’t submit to me as a man, not entirely. He had these false notions that masculinity meant strength, it meant power, superiority. Most of the men drawn to me understand that the true order of man is below a powerful woman and this sub simply didn’t.

He deleted his account. He’ll be back. Within the last few months, I’ve had multiple people come back. Some of which are gone again, some of which have stayed. They can’t stay away. Eventually he’ll realize what he lost and when he does, he’ll come crawling back. They always do. He feared me; the power I had as a woman and as a domme; the power I had over him and all of my subs. I scared him. His fear only feeds my desires. Him leaving only feeds my ego and gives me more power. When he comes back, he’ll come back to an aggravated domme. Everyone wish him luck. This is his own doing.