It's now 3.30pm, I'm slumped on the sofa again, eyes 3/4 closed, rubbing my dick, drooling and feeling I'm down to my very last brain cell (though I never seem to lose the ability to write this filth!) My head is throbbing. I've been triggered over and over again by people who've read my last few posts, and I don't usually need much help to begin with...

I told the story about being "friendzone cucked" between 18-20 by my hot flatmate to someone in the DMs, their response was "wow you really got fucked in the head". Yep! I'm beyond any help now, nothing to do but embrace it and go deeper. I'm now 36, and jerking off to those memories is, has been, and will be, my sex life – listening to Becky and her alpha boyfriend was my first sexual experience, and defined my whole sexuality forever.

"I love how sex obsessed you are. It really consumes your existence," the Redditor added, getting off on my suffering. Yep! Lust eats me up like a fire eating a forest, until there's nothing left. I don't have an addiction to jerking off; I AM an addiction to jerking off, a walking talking one. There's nothing else in me, not really.

I'm reminded of this paragraph someone sent me from a horny essay about small dicked betas:

"Because his sexual dreams lie unfulfilled, the intensity and obsessive nature of them often consumes his thoughts. A lot of pindicks are virgins, so they have that social stigma to shame them as well, and in our sex-obsessed society almost all unfulfilled little babydicks are horny little masturbaters."

Anyone identify?? Oh there's the delivery buzzer again breaking my concentration...