Lying face down with my penis sandwiched between my stomach and the the bed is my favourite way to masturbate.

But occasionally I like to hump other things too. Here is my rating of them all. I’d love to know yours as well.

Bed - 8/10 - the pleasure level depends on the firmness of the mattress and sheets softness. This is the coziest way to hump and the bodily comfort of lying on a bed makes long hours of edging possible. This is how I masturbate 95% of the time. I cum right into the bed so yes my mattress has years of cum stains on it and that patch by now smells so sexy. Sometimes I just edge to the smell of my own dried cum

Wooden floor - 9.5/10 - rubbing my cock and balls against the floor has to be the most fucking mind blowing tingling my penis has felt. There is something magical about penis friction with a very smooth surface. The penis literally slides when I rub it back and forth and that feels so good. Pro tip - rubbing the penis side to side against the floor activates new nerve endings in my cock causing sky high pleasure. The only downside is that one can’t lie on the floor for long hours so it doesn’t make for comfortable 4 hours gooning sessions. The orgasms however are intense

A women’s thigh - 10/10 - this is undoubtedly the hottest masturbation can be for me. The girl lays on the bed with her leg laid flat and bent at the knee, and my penis humps the soft inner thigh, knee and calves flesh at the fold of the knee. While I hump and goon on her thigh flesh, I kiss her and suck her tits while talking dirty. I can gooon like this for hours. The hotter the girl the better this feels. When I cum on her thigh, I lick up the cum and kiss her sloppy while tasting the cum together. I’ve done this hundreds of times now using my escort habit

Pillow - 6/10 - this is a controversial one. Many gooners swear by pillow humping but for me it’s just too soft and not enough friction. I do use it once in a while to hump for 10 minutes max in a longer 4 hours session but that’s about it. Your mileage may vary!

Plastic bag - 7.5/10 - the hottest thing about humping a supermarket plastic bag is the sounds it makes while my penis rubs against it and my hips rock back and forth. Just focusing on the sounds makes me hornier - it’s the sound of my gooner penis at work. The friction against the smooth surface is great but precum very quickly makes the plastic bit sticky and the bag starts clinging to the penis. This makes the experience pleasurable but short lived

Tablet screen - 8/10 - I love it for the smooth friction with my penis. I’ll usually put up the face or tits of a hot girl and then rub my penis against it to the fantasy of humping a pretty girl face with hazel eyes and tongue out. Cumming makes for nice tributes

Thick towel - 7.5/10 - the roughness and the thread loops on the towel feel like thousands of hands masturbating my penis and balls at the same time. It feels great but also short lived because after a while my penis starts craving a smoother surface again

What surfaces do you hump and what do you like/hate about them?