Gather around fellow edgers to listen and gawk at the leaking, shivering, and desperate mess at the center of the town square!!

I will treat this post as a confessional, or rather, a memoir for the tumultuous year that have passed so far and how I am completely and utterly addicted to edging. I will initially provide a little background before I get into my current plight.

TL;DR - After being cheated on I cope by breaking my mind via edging. I take it too far and fuck up my school work. I make a small recovery but quickly relapse. I currently edge while writing this and don't know what to do with my life.

So, the new years celebrations end and me and my partner (who is also my Mistress and keyholder) are heading home. New year, new us and all that bullcrap are thrown around and we are just exhausted after the evening and collapse in bed as soon as we lay down. At this point she have kept me locked up in a small chastity cage for about 65 days without any cumming privilege, and its getting to my head. This is at this point the longest I've been caged, and it is all apart of my punishment for taking some thing for granted.

We live apart from each other and when she is visiting me she always sleeps naked in the bed. If that isn't frustrating enough, I sometimes wake up to her masturbating and teasing me. In other words, she's a mean one, and I love every single second of it! The new year's vacation is coming to an end and I am going back to uni to write my master's thesis. This thesis will be apart of a larger research project and will (if done well) land me a doctorial position. Right before she leaves back to her home she makes me eat her out. This is the last time I've had pussy, and I can still feel how the wet lips press up against my desperate face.

A few weeks pass and I find out she have been cheating on me during the last couple of months of last year.. This of course brakes my romantic heart, but the gooner in me, the one that haven't touched his hard cock for soon to be 100 days awakes and overtakes my mind.

As a coping mechanism perhaps is start to edge like crazy. I use my vibrating wand on my cage and a vibrating prostate plug like my life depended on it. The first couple of weeks I don't take calls, don't answer texts, and exclusively use my computer for looking at porn. I eat very little except the precum I'm leaking, I only dress in latex or lace lingerie, and when I need to leave my home I have a my prostate vibrator on low and gonewildaoudio in my headphones. My mind is so blank that I miss a lot of meetings and deadlines with my supervisor. I explain to her that I'm not feeling all too well mentally and need to have all the meetings online. This made every thing worse/better.. Now I could stay home all day with the wand strapped to my cage, even during meetings!

I still haven't cum at this point! Some accidental leakages have occurred during some of the online meetings or when someone knocked on my door, but I tried to ruin them as fast as possible. My supervisor is not happy with the progress of my research and forces me to come to uni once a month for a meeting so we can look at the data I have gathered. But the only "data" I've gathers is a massive goon folder. The thought of having to sit there gets me so riled up, but I have to tone it down when I'm there, out of respect. But I tell myself that I can lock myself in the public bathroom afterwards and edge.

When rubbing my cage in one of the stalls some poor soul accidentally opens the door. In my haste to get out of the meeting in order to take care of my pulsating cage I must have forgotten to lock the stall door... I don't think they saw or knew what was going on, but this sparked a new obsession for me.. Once a week after this I went to campus and found a bathroom stall that was far away and usually not so frequented in order to relive this blast.. It got more and more extreme.. First I just left the door unlocked and got completely nude, then I brought my wand, next time I was on my knees in front of the unlocked door in lingerie, and finally I even had the door slightly open! The puddle of precum only grew for each of the visits!

At this time, edging is the only thing I'm thinking about.. I feel that my self-discipline is fading and reach out to my Mistress.. She is not interested in my escapades but encourages me to carry on in any manner. I turn to Reddit to find advice on how I should continue, if I should cum or even continue edging.
Reddit tells me to keep edging of course, and NO CUMMING! This kills me and I find some wonderful people that feed me porn or tasks. One person even builds upon my public kink and forces me to lock some ankle and wrist cuffs on me and hide the keys outside the bathroom.. I was so scared, but with every edge I reach the fear dissipates.. Now I WANT someone to open the door and see me on my knees in white lace lingerie, fake breasts, choking on a penis gag, cuffed, leaking, and so fucking desperate!

I love that there are genuine feeders who enjoy breaking others minds! One such person even made me tell one of my friends what I was doing.. that I was edging instead of going to lectures, that I was nothing more than a beta gooner, and so on! At this point I was edging for hours every dat with very minimal hours for sleep.. mostly I just blacked out on the floor, and waking up with a butt plug in me or seeing the wet spot on the carpet from all my precum threw me right back into that mindset!

After being validated as someone, more than anyone, more than my Mistress have in the last months, by random redditors that wanted to destroy my mind I couldn't help but to cum. It was so hard not to and I blame the redditor who made me cum.. I felt so seen that after edging without sleep for 40 something hours I couldn't resist the offer of letting my small caged cock explode into a glass. It was the sweetest of nectar at the moment when I felt how my warm cum ran down my throat while I laid naked, caged, and exhausted on the floor in my hallway.. I blacked out and when I came to, it really was a completely different beast that awoke.

Waking up naked on the floor, realizing that my entry door was unlocked really awoken my rational brain and I was so filled with genuine shame, not the kinky kind.. The deadline for my thesis is in about 6-7 weeks and I panic.. This period I call or email my supervisor daily and write like a maniac to make the deadline.. And I kinda do make it. I rejoice and feel good about deleting my old reddit and all traces of being a slut for edging. My poor friend who had to partake in that information didn't tell anyone else, but doesn't talk to me anymore. My supervisor is satisfied with my progress but not overly happy, she want me to hand it in at a later deadline.. My Mistress is dealing with her own stress at the moment and we get by with the bare minimum of interactions. Until the day of when I is supposed to present and defend my thesis.

On the morning of my presentation I wake up to a message from my Mistress.

"Today you should wear lingerie underneath your regular clothes and the large butt plug (the one that makes you walk funny). When presenting your thesis, know that everyone is staring at you and your slutty self."

And just like that my cock started to pulsate in my cage again and slowly taking over my brain.
When approaching the podium I was shaking so much. I used a bit too much lube for the butt plug and could feel it gliding in and out at points. I was so afraid that it would fall out. The presentation and defense went horribly.. Like, so bad that it could not be chalked up to my usual problems with nerves. It was something more resembling pure ignorance or that I didn't do my work. I got blasted afterwards by my supervisor and the examinating teacher and both recommended that I should hand in a new version and do a new presentation at the end of the summer. I didn't care, as long as I could leave this place and go home and edge! Like, for real, that was all I was thinking about. Feeling that edge creeping closer like an electric shock.

Suffice it to say, I lost the doctorial position and it is currently the end of the summer. My deadline is in 3 days and I haven't written a word the whole summer! I'm back in my edging ways and is barely functioning as a human being!

A wonderful redditor, whom I deeply admire and keep in my pantheon of kink, guided me in the beginning of the summer. I failed her twice and regret it immensely since I lost contact with her. But as a part of her regime I had to confess to my family about being a slut and she had some wonderful tasks to perform. But I feel that my post-nut depression became too strong, especially when I stopped wearing the cage for 24/7 (except cleaning days). Days I was forced to ruin my orgasm in my cage did not change my mindset, and therefore I have nor gone back into a 24/7 cage schedule.

So, here I am.. An utter failure.. A good for nothing slut addicted to edging. I couldn't even write this without keeping my wand against my cage..

If you've made it this far, I want to thank you and perhaps ask for an outside perspective. What am I supposed to do!?