I keep thinking about this nice chat with a person from edgingTogether that was feeding me porn. He was teasing and keeping me hard on a commuter rail. I was traveling with friends. I’d get hard with the feed and the chat but would then have to stop and engage with folks. I would sneak back to my phone, get up and change places so I could stay on my phone and hide my boner. At one point I walked to the bathroom to show off for him. I was semi-hard and had the feeling everyone could tell, everyone was watching and judging me. I would bump into people in the crowd and thought they could feel it. I worried they thought I was perving on them. I got to the toilet and there was a security camera like I had seen other places on the train and I was like WTF? I pulled it out anyway. A stand of precum flew as my head left the wet spot in my underwear. I stroked up a full blown hard-on to show off. They I was; on camera, hard cock in hand, trying to compose a sexy photo that didn’t look like a filthy public toilet so that I would look nice and pleasing like some desperate slut. The. I had to soften without cumming and walk back. I felt ashamed and humiliated and used, and I liked that. I just wanted more. I wanted to keep drowning in the porn he was sending and keep flirting. So needy. So eager to please. Longing so badly to get hard and stay hard.

I’m on the train back now a few days later. Guess what I want to do?

I can barely see the world as I used to. Now everyone is sexualized. Everyplace I look around to see where I can secretly look at porn and touch my self. Everything is something to rub against or fuck.

I’m doomed. I’m so happily doomed.