My whole life, I've had a hypersexual lifestyle and mentality. Friends, hookups, and long-term partners have all played a part in reinforcing and supporting wanting to be that way. I learned early on that giving pleasure to my partners was critical and changed how I saw sex and pleasure. I learned to get off on seeing people get pleasure. Over time, through my relationships and hook-ups, that evolved into wanting to push into more sexual exploration to increase their pleasure. It moved into me being dominant, topping, sharing, poly and group sex.

As that exploration advanced, I was able to see how much pleasure women can get, how deep they can go into submission, how much pushing deeper into kinks and hardcore play affects them, and how much pleasure, euphoria and satisfaction a woman can get from being slutty.

Now, all my relationships focus on seeing how deep my partners and hookups will let me push them into sexual exploration to chase those feelings of satisfaction and euphoria. Watching how much they love it, want to explore it, want to push for more, and how addictive it gets has made me so jealous.

Now when I see any girl losing themselves to lust, being sluts, worshipping cock, cuming nonstop, even if its acting, it affects me. I started to want to be them, feel what they feel, do what they do, and lose myself. My experiences irl reinforce it and feed into it. Watching porn porn makes it so much worse. It's consuming, corrupting, and addictive, and the more I feed into it, the more I lose myself to it.

Now, I want to explore it, have fun with it, and try to push it deeper. I'm looking for a chat partner that wants to explore this with me. Explore my desires to become a woman, to be the sluts my partners became and that I see in porn. I'm seeking a female partner because they are the conduit to those feelings and where I'd be most vulnerable. I love the idea of being forced, manipulated, coherersed, corrupted, conditioned, trained and feminized. To be moulded and shaped by someone else's ideas of what a proper woman and slut should be. To take their time with it, go slow with it, and get off on it while my empathy and envy consume me.

I don't even know what the play, conversation, and dynamic would look like. I'm still feeling this all out, but it turns me on so much and plummets me into such a deep subspace that I needed to start figuring it out. I'm just looking to explore and have fun with it. It's nothing aggressive but a slow burn. It's also not a roleplay. It has to have realness and weight to it.