I can't fucking take it...

I feel like I'm losing my mind...

Everyday, I'm fighting the urge to cum. My load is RIGHT there. My cock aches, spasms, throbs, almost every minute of the day. Why am I doing this to myself? Does part of me hate myself, thinking I deserve punishment? Do I enjoy the feeling of constantly being controlled by thoughts of my cock? I don't know. I'm losing it.

Everyday I wake up to almost cumming in my sheets. Every time I go to sleep, I keep having sex dreams. No matter what I'm doing, whether it's laundry, taking a walk, browsing online, I have to stop, get my cock under control and try to think about something else. Most of the times I fail.

Edging has become so engrained into my very being. I'm like Pavlov's Dog: I get triggered by the slightest sexual stimuli and have to jerk off almost immediately. Everyday at work, I have to go to the bathroom, pump my cock, thinking about how I want to cum all over the inside of the stall, just letting it all go. What am I trying to prove? I should give in, it feels so good to cum, why don't I just let it happen?

Then I remember: it feels good to be dominated by my cock. I think with him. I love gooning, edging closer and closer, feeling my load fill the inside of my shaft, right to the tip. Feeling as if the slightest touch, the naughtiest thought will set him off, cumming everywhere.

I'm trying, I really am. I want to last NNN, but like I said in my other posts, I'm already up to 31 days and we're only 5 days into the month...I'm strong, I know I can do this, but my cock wants to give in...Just typing this out, he's throbbing in my pants, dripping precum. I can feel it. I'm twitching, gyrating my hips to feel him rub against the inside of my sweatpants, but I'm trying to fight...

I wish I had someone here, just teasing me, tempting me, making me goon more and more, until I'm nothing but a drooling, dripping mess with a cock that can't cum....