Hi Reddit,

I'm in a really tough spot right now and I don't know where else to turn. My parents don't work, so I give them all my money from my disability payments. I get $1100 a month, but after paying for housing, I only have $270 left. Our rent is insanely high at $2.5k per month, and my older brother covers the rest.

This situation is causing me so much mental pain that even benzodiazepines don't really help. We're disrespected by others because we don't have money, and it's become excruciating. People have sex orgies at our place, even though I'm the one paying for the house. They also get money for the sex orgies, at the expense of my and our familys pain and humiliation. I feel humiliated and violated by this, especially since I'm a virgin and it deeply disturbs me. There is no one to talk to, as my dad will scold me if I share about this in real life.

I can't afford food or any form of entertainment, let alone a girlfriend. We live with 8 cats, and both my mom and I have allergies, but our housemate doesn't care, and we can't do anything about it. This environment is traumatic. I cry often, and my resentment towards my parents grows because they don't have much money to contribute, nor are they properly asserting boundaries. I am a virgin and they literally scream their moans, dozes of people, right under my room. Not even closing the room door and putting on headphones full blast help, and just being aware of the situation, nasty intrusive thoughts constantly pop up to mind which violate me.

I feel left out and abandoned, living a life of illusions where people aren't honest with me about sex or anything else. Even in my "friendships," I feel the sting of being a virgin while others aren't, and it pains me. There's no real help available, and I feel trapped. My dad is my legal guardian due to my disability, so I can't even leave and keep the money for myself, which might make me happier.

Our family is beyond broke, and we're humiliated by the other family living with us. We have no help and little hope for our situation. We aren't open to talking, and if we try, one party always gets dismissed, leading to no real solution. I ask consistently of my mom to mediate the conversations of me with my dad, since dad will easily dismiss me on his own. Mom can't keep up with this, as she is sick herself, like my dad, both are unemployed with no income whatsoever, which crushes any chance of a happy, abundant life.

I'm desperate and need help before things get even worse. I can't live like this anymore, and I take pills just to fall asleep as much as I can. I'm caged by my parents and can't trust anyone. We have no real values at our home, and we simply do whatever our animal brain instructs us to do like fools. No one listens to the voice of logic, reason and love, and we are all left to suffer. Please, if anyone has any advice or can offer some help, I need it.

Thank you for reading.