Hi so in a bit of sticky situation here. The woman (ESFJ) I was dating (I've initiated a break last week) is still married and told me she was in the process of divorcing her wife when I first met her. 5 months into the relationship they are still sleeping in the same bed and have done none of the steps towards a formal process of divorce. They've been married for 15 years and their relationship soured about 3 years ago, they no longer sleep with each other. It's a toxic relationship & my ESFJ is codependent. Blah blah...

I'm in an open relationship with my ESFJ but she recently disappeared on me for 3 days which is why I called a break. I gave her a phone call to let her know then sent her a letter that went into further detail of why I called for a break. During the break up call all she said was "Okay OP." I kept things brief and to the point.
I haven't spoken to her since the break (she has not reached out to me) but I am planning to visit her town on my bday weekend, next week. I am going to call her to see if she wants to meet up during my visit. I'm hoping she says yes.
If she says yes I am planning to present to her a formal set of relationship stipulations as well as a proposed timeline for both our relationship growth and required dates to take steps towards her divorce. To give context we would have not spoken for about 2 weeks.

For example in regards to her divorce by the end of October they will be sleeping in separate beds and by the end of January they will be living separately and by May papers should be served.
I will also have proposed visitation dates (we live across the state) and milestones on said time line.
I will give her two weeks to decide if she wants to agree to the proposal and insist that she not make a decision on the spot.

Because we are long distance we don't need to be too serious but I am stipulating at least 3 hours of communication a week. Which really isn't much. And the limit of having sex with a different partner 4 times at most. Instead of the polyamorous relationship we had I want to change it to a polysexual relationship.

I do love her. And she has told me that she loves me. I'd rather reassess and evaluate our relationship than end it completely. Otherwise our past 5 months will have been a complete waste of time and effort. I also cannot be in a relationship with someone who is not going to be actively making steps to better themselves at least in a sense of ending a toxic relationship.

Am I going to scare her off? Have I already burned the bridge?

TLDR: If you were an in an open relationship "in the process" of divorcing your wife, and the dude you've been dating decides goes on a 2 week break after you initiated 3 unexplained days of no contact (I did not ask for a reason and went straight to the break). Dude comes back with a set of rules and divorce/relationship timeline, are you spooked off?

To give context and if it matters I am an ENTJ (M28) and she's ESFJ (47W).