I just found out I have esophagus damage and GERD from purging

My doctors thought it had a cardiac problem because I was having chest pain. Turns out I have esophagus damage that also causes acid reflux from purging. My throat is often sore and acid reflux (GERD) is causing my chest pain. I’m glad my heart is okay but struggling to process the news about my esophagus. It’ll only heal if I stop purging. I’ve been able to cut down a good amount but can’t stop completely. If I keep purging apparently I risk an esophagus tear which would mean throwing up blood, going to ER, and getting surgery. This damage happened after 8 months of purging 3-10 times a week. Don’t fucking start it. I’ve had so many ECGs and vitals, and it seems to be coming from this esophagus damage. I hope I don’t cause permanent damage. I wish I never started.