It’s 3am for me and I’m feeling sad, so here’s a small message to my past self I must get off my chest:

I know you were confused, you were scared, you were worried, you didn’t realize just how big of a mess it would be in a future. I try not blame you too much because of that. But at the same time you knew you were trans, you always knew deep down and in the last five years you definitely knew just under the surface. I hate that you couldn’t admit it to yourself, I understand why but now I’m stuck years behind what I feel I should be. It’s frustrating, so much of a road ahead of me. I get intimidated too much by it sometimes but I know it’s a road I must walk on. I just wish you had walked the first couple steps for me.