Hello I am f 22 and mother 39.

• Perhaps I need a different perspective or outlook on this situation ? Can someone help me please

So this is something really personal that I have not spoke about with many people , I am a f22. Currently need advice on a mother daughter relationship. Me and mother don’t have the best relationship.. We continuously have disagreements over the same situations. I have not lived with her since 2017. I am currently a full time student in college working two jobs to make ends meet . I have a quite of load of bills and tuition that I pay out of pocket for . So I literally have no room for extra spending or lending money. I am very close to finish my degree program and things are critical for me I am trying to stay focus on priorities! However , like I stated me and mom don’t have the best relationship due to her inadequacy and unstableness so we don’t talk as much. But when we do talk she always ask me for money . Throughout the entire month of September I put my pride to the side and sent her the money she needed because I have two younger siblings that were started school. So I sent her the money to get them shoes for school which she didn’t have or school clothes for them this year. After I sent the money throughout the entire month of September she called me almost everyday asking me to cash app her 10$ , 15$, 20$ here and there . She would call give me an excuse then say do you think I could get 10$ to buy me a pack of cigarettes . Or 20$ so I can walk to McDonald’s and get the kids something they didn’t like the food at the shelter today. So throughout the month of September I would just send her the change because I know the struggle . However this is starting to overwhelm me and this how our relationship always go. From aug 27- sept 27 . I’ve sent her maybe over 300$ that I really did not have. I kept dipping into my savings to send.

So, the final money I sent her was for my baby sister birthday party on sept26 as a gift because i wasn’t going to be able to make it ( I live 3hours away from home town in my college town) . So I sent the last and final money to her . Which I had to dip into my savings to do so But I did it for my baby sister 9year old birthday.

So two days after the party she called me and asked if I would send her 15$ to buy her a pack of cigarettes and I instantly said No ! She got angry and bEgan texting me long paragraphs and all sorts of crazy things about me being her daughter . I don’t understand why she cannot understand that I don’t have it to give I’m not a walking a bank I’m struggling just like anyone else . I haven’t had a single help from anyone of my parents since Ive been in college the past 4 years . And technically my whole life I was raised by my grandmother. So for her to continuously ask me for money while I’m in school is bizarre to me and I’m starting to feel disrespected.

My mom is fully capable of becoming whoever she wants to be . She’s is not disabled she is smart. I’m not sure why she is I fear of doing better for herself. She struggled with pill , weed and alcohol addiction for many years so her life has went in circles . She continuously blames her entire life on my grandmother who passed away in2019 . She is not understanding that many people (the entire family ) have went out of the way to do things for her to help her and my sister and brother !But she comes with extremely to much drama and uses that help to her advantage so she do what she want to do. She always play this guilt trip with everyone like the world is somehow against her. I’m just really tired I don’t know what to do . ! I’m angry hurt and disappointed. I try to move on and always remain the bigger person and honor thy parents because she is my mom still. But it’s overwhelming when you have no understanding from nobody around you. She doesn’t even call and check on me .. to see how I’m doing in school or what’s going on in my personal life . She calls me to unload all her daily issues negative thoughts and beliefs on me then the conversation always end with her asking me for money for something. I’m tired ! I’m overwhelmed. Her being in my life it’s like it goes in constant circles and super draining she bring nothing good to me everything is like poison when I deal with her constant blaming me for things .