That's a very hard, painful and stressful situation. So this is it, my grandma is 70 yo she studied philosophy and then after many, many , many years of teaching she takes a counselor degree (and even if a counselor and a teraphist are two different things here in italy she had A LOT of psychology books, even DSM ) . We used to have a strong bond, she kind of help me when I was little with my problem with anxiety, she was very proud of me cause I was good at school, I took psychology , I was good at writing and a book lover, all the things she approves. Then depression strokes me, I was depressed for almost all my life but in my first year of University it hits hard, I tried to take my life and then I stopped study for some years , I'm still struggling but with medication, a teraphist, and a very loving girlfriend,supportive friends and an amazing best friend (who really saved me) I'm trying to take my life back and studying is part of it, but I have more bad days than good days so it's still fucking hard. In those years my grandma became mean and kind of abusive, one time , with my mother she did a fake call to the hospital to get a TSO ( I don't know how it's called in english, basically it means you're too dangerous for yourself and others so you are bring to the psychiatric unit) and for what? Because I didn't want to study with her, and after a big fight I was having an anxiety breakdown, plus my mum took my phone away (my grandma told her to do it so I couldn't reach out my bff) and ALL MY MEDS. That's was 2 years ago maybe. Now every time she came to my house is a pure hell, it depends if she's stressed, if she is I'm the perfect victim 'cause she can easily find me in bed, most of the times too weak to fight back. Some days ago I was in bed, she came, my parents were working and me and my sister were at home, we are 22 (me) and 16 (my sister) so we are totally capable of surviving without any help, in the contrary we are very happy and comfy to be just the two of us . But she came anyway, mostly because she think we can't take care of "this poor dog" . We have a 2 yo dog and our life almost gravitate towards her, she's absolutely not a poor dog but she likes to pretend that we are incapable. That day the dog needs to pee urgently (she was rasping at the door). My sister said that her shoulder was hurting so my grandma decided that she was totally unable to bring the dog out, they starting to call for me and I was in the bed fearing of her to be honest. My sister call me and she said that I have to hurry up getting dressed and bring the dog out. Morning are hard for me and dressing is hard I do it but I'm slow, I tried to say that I couldn't be quick, I was getting anxious cause my grandma started screaming, and I just refuse to did it, closing the door. After that I hear my grandma call me lazy, calling me "the princess of the house", saying that my behavior has nothing to do with depression cause depression is not about getting out of the bed (I was like: what? Is one of the first things you struggle to do when you're depressed) after a lot of screaming I had to call my mom in a big rush of anxiety and she said that I can take my time for bringing the dog out and then called my grandma asking to stop insulting me. At the end of it my not so injured sister brought the dog out, I couldn't do it cause suicidal thoughts were over the moon. I refuse to eat with them . Then I found out that my grandma was stressed so that's why she attacked me more than usual. I really can't do this anymore, the only thing I wanted is to burn all the psychology books in her house because why she have them if she decides to ignore the basic things to avoid with a depressed person? My mom is too scared of her to be more strict and my father just doesn't give a fuck. I thought my grandma is narcissistic, my best friend told me but I just couldn't see, it was ok when I was the barely perfect child, now I'm just lazy and unworthy. She always find a way to point out my flaws in front of my girlfriend ( but grandma adore her) , she always find a way to tell how bad we are as daughters for not helping my mum enough. Now she gives all the love and affection to my cousin (14 yo) the new perfect and I'm truly scared of the day she disappointed my grandma, I love her and I don't want her to be another victim. Who anyone who's reading this... thanks. To my grandma: if you don't love me enough at least treat me as my dog (" Nana's treasure") would do if she was a person.