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Possibly the most slackjawed of the Duggar boys, Joseph Duggar turns the momentous age of 25 today. This marks ten years since Joe mentally advanced and decided he was happiest with stopping working on himself in any way shape of form and remaking 15.

A man so bland, his favorite sweet treat is plain oatmeal cookies. That’s right. He doesn’t even like raisins in them. In order to inform him that she was incubating again, his disturbingly youthful bride Kendra treated him to some plain vanilla ice cream. No sauce or toppings as that would be venturing into... fruity business I guess? This adventurous palate comes to you straight from the man who took prompting to conjure up the statement he does not like seeing Kendra “go through pain”. How a man on his second child can be unable to string together a sentence is exactly what Boob and J'Chelle wanted when depriving their brood of more than attendance to the SOTDRT.

However, it is not all bad for Joe. Oh no. Blessed with the The Most Popping Booty of the Duggar clan, Joe has yet to find trousers that will adequately contain all junk inside his trunk. And a photographer who doesn't encourage him to show off his ass. That’s not all. Joe wasn’t content with only the best butt, he also took it upon himself to grow an arm titty just to make Kendra look even more undeveloped compared to his bountiful form. While Kendra may have finally warmed up to the idea of kissing her alleged God chosen husband, the feeling was not reciprocated, so they are still sidehuggin' in public. A man who prefers his wife and now mother to his second spawn may need more reprogramming than a child bride can provide. Joseph is also a learned man. An intellectual. He dedicated a year of his precious time to glean in a ‘Biblical degree’ at Crown College in 2015. Perhaps he put his college knowledge to use when picking out outfits for his baby wife, instead of the pajamas he picked on the thrift store date night episode.

Happy birthday Joe. I hope you enjoy licking the birthday cake crumbs of your plate, you cardboard man.