Hey guys!

I posted a similar question on this sub before, but I want to give an update and ask more advice on this topic.

Background: I am a 33yo male. I work out 3 to 4 times a week. I am a cocaine & methcathinone user on social events (pretty much every second weekend, and never during weekdays). I don't do it excessively, but let's say we'll go through 3 to 4 grams between two people over a weekend..

I suffer from mild anxiety. Obviously, I am fully aware that the drugs don't help with this, and often the anxiety will worsen towards the end of the party binge. I am not here to find out whether I should stop using or not because I can go to google for that to scare the shit out of me. I am here for honest opinions /personal experiences from fellow redditors.

About a year ago, after a weekend of partying, I suffered a severe panic attack. All the symptoms of a heart attack were there.. Chest pain, heart palpitations, tingling/pains in arms, shortness of breath, anxiety, etc. Of course I went to our good friend ol' Google to find out how exactly to know when one is having a heart attack, which didn't help the situation. This happened in the early hours of the morning, and the thought of calling emergency services worsen the anxiety (the thought that I may just be having a panic attack and then I end up in the ER high as fuck, for no real reason). Eventually, my partner managed to talk me through it, helped me to breathe and managed to calm me down after about an hour.

Ever since that night, whenever we use, I ALWAYS get that anxious feeling in the back of my mind that I am going to have a heart attack. With the slightest tightness in my chest or whatever, my mind goes to the worst. I cannot seem to overcome that feeling. I cannot shut that thought out of my mind. None of my friends ever experience it like this.

I wanted to put myself at ease, so I made an appointment to go see a Cardiologist. He did several tests on my heart and actually confirmed that my heart is quite healthy and that there's also no sign of any blocked arteries. I will admit that I was not honest about the drug use, but I mentioned to him that it happens during anxiety attacks. He told me that I have nothing to worry about, so I thought that that would put me at ease going forward...

Guess what, it didn't.

I simply cannot seem to shake that thought that I am going to have a heart attack whenever we use. It starts off fun and then it worsens. It varies from mild to bad (never as bad as that night I mentioned).

Is this my anxiety or is this my body trying to tell me something? If the doctor gave me such positive and reassuring results, do I still need to worry?? I am not asking for medical advise. I am simply asking a community who can give me straight up answers, and advise from people who may have similar experiences or knowledge about the topic.

Last thing that I want to add is that I do have above average to higher blood pressure than normal. I also recently started taking xanax, so whenever I get those feelings, I pop a half and it always seems to help.

Thank you for reading my long-ass post. Give it to me straight up! I am hoping that there are other people on here who can relate to this feeling.