I’m scared of who I’m becoming.

I’ve only been doing stimulants about a good few months now, starting adderall when I was in school, and doing coke for about two months now. How could I have developed an addiction this fast?

I’ll be out of adderall, a drug not even that bad to the coke I do, and I’ll be so upset my stomach hurts that I don’t have adderall, and I’ll be counting down the days until I get paid again, for me to only buy 10 pills, for $100 and have them be gone that same day.

I’ll get so bummed out at the fast rate they’re going, that even while geeked, I’ll be so upset and sad/mad that when I come down, there will be nothing to do, and no more adderall to do.

And the feeling is SO much worse with coke. I’ll buy it cause I know it’s stronger and more fun to do than adderall, but the gram I get lasts the weekend, and I know I’ll have to go cold turkey sober until I get paid again and it fucking sucks.

Having said this, I don’t see a future without stimulants in my life. I just can’t. The thought of being without the geeked feeling makes me want to down the last 10 XR addys I have right now, but then I know I’ll have none for work.

Idk, I know I’m only just a kid but I wanted to rant on here for a second. I know I should go sober for a while to slow this addiction down, but I genuinely can’t see a future without me doing stimulants.

Any things to do to help with this. Thank you.