Me and my friend were checking out of our motel when she decided last minute to steal all the little soaps and shampoos from the bathroom “cuz why not”. She then stuffs them into my jacket pockets while my hands are full with suitcases. Of course, I somehow always end up the keeper of the contraband. Later we get pulled over, and my right jean pocket is full of bud. I’m super nervous. The trooper tells me to get out of the car for a pat down and I’m thinking this is it, I’m caught. He pats around my jacket and feels the hard bars and asks “what’s in your pocket here?” I say I don’t know, because at this point I had honestly forgotten about the soap. All I know is it’s not my right jean pocket so he can have whatever the fuck it is. “You don’t know??” He asks super suspiciously, thinking I’m playing dumb. So he plunges his hand straight into the pocket and pulls out a handful of little packages of bar soap. First he just stares at it, then just starts laughing his ass off. I tell him, “oh that’s right officer, we stole this from the hotel we were staying at. I’m sorry man” and I really play up the I’m sorry I stole soap thing. He tells us “well that’s a first for me” and is so distracted by the soap that he doesn’t finish my pat down. He says we’re free to go. “And don’t forget your soap here” still laughing at us. Whatever, I get back in the car and we take off