This story you are about to read is a story that involves, addiction, overdose, jails, institutions, rehabs and near death experiences. I tripped on DXM for the first time in afterschool detention at age 14. I read online that drinking Delsym will get you high, but I couldn’t find anything saying how much I was supposed to take. So I sipped the smaller bottle every few minutes for about an hour till I finished it, and I had the best experience of my life. I felt drunk but dissociated and I was talking to everybody naturally and became very funny. I then put my head on my desk and saw some crazy CEV’s and thought this was the best thing ever. I saw CEV’s of rooms that felt strange but oddly familiar, I saw my family in a construction digger digging me out of a hole, and other strange but fascinating things. 3 days later I bought another bottle, and this is where I spiraled downhill

I would chug it before school, and doing stupid things in school which led to me constantly getting into trouble. I started to not give a fuck about my grades which soon lead into me chugging it after school on my free nights, and that led into me chugging one before my day started, before you knew it, I was completely dissociated and barely ever sober. I started doing gel caps, triple c’s (I know I, was dumb) HBR, and even more Delsym. I turned into a kleptomaniac. Pretending to go to the gym that was by the grocery store, just so I could swipe more dxm, and then it happened.

I did some digging and my first full blown psychotic episode was in late 2021, where I ran out of my grandmothers house at night, tried to break into a 7-11 because those numbers “represented something of great power” and I ended up blacking out and came to in a hospital bed murmuring shit about the matrix at 3 in the morning shackled to the bed with my step dad sitting beside me. This turned into the cycle, doing dxm, having a psychotic episode, going to the hospital, and then eventually, ending up in mental wards.

I spent so much time in the mental wards, and missed so much school time because of this, I was completely taken out of school because everybody knew that I would just end up in another mental ward when I got released. After one trip with DPH/DXM, I ended up in a Juvenile residential program, and spent 9 months in this program. When I got released, I got so fucked up on Delsym, and triple c’s, that I broke into a convenience store in broad daylight, got serotonin syndrome, had 2 seizures, woke up in a hospital absolutely fried in the brain with a catheter in my dick and nurses all around me shackled to the hospital bed, was released to the police, and did a year locked up in Juvenile Detention. I got out, and I was doing better. For months I didn’t do DXM, got a girlfriend, was doing school online, and everything was good. Till I got arrested on a capias warrant for failure to appear. I spent 2 weeks in big boy jail, (at this point I was 18), and got out, and got engaged to my then fiancé. Then something triggered me one night to go out and legally buy DXM and trip on it.

This was a bad idea. PERMA TOLERANCE IS REAL. Within 15 minutes I felt like I was burning up, my pupils were huge, my skin was red, and I was dizzy and nauseous. I couldn’t believe it. My days of DXM were gone. So what does this mean? I switched to other drugs. I started doing Adderall, Klonopin, Alcohol, Weed, PPX, Kratom, Suboxone, etc, and I did this all behind my fiancés back. She caught me a few times, let it slide, but this most recent time, (earlier last month) she found my stash. Old dxm bottles, kratom, PPX cottons, dph, phenibut, etc. She left me, and I am now single, but am doing better. Have joined NA, am working a job at a local grocery store and have almost a month clean. I do have a suboxone prescription, and I know that is controversial, but personally it has helped a lot. Thanks for reading