not my DOC at all. but for some reason I’ve been doing it lately because of people I’ve been around and I just don’t get it. I love stimulants but this shit just lasts too long and gets me too tweaked. Pupils huge. Why am I standing in the same spot in my kitchen for 2 hours without realizing it? Why am I even in the kitchen I’m not hungry. Immediately horny so I can see how it would be fun for that. except I’m single and alone at home rn. So I’m just suffering.

Gotta go to work in a couple hours. Had to put brown colored contacts in to try to hide my pupils. My eyes are green and it’s so noticeable. Absolutely no way I could hide that at work. Hate that I have to be a junkie who functions and works a full time fairly respectable job. Why couldn’t I just commit to one or the other. You wouldn’t know I do this by looking at me. I feel like I live 2 different lives. Like Hannah Montana except with a regular job and secretly a junkie. Anyways what is the appeal? Compared to the rush from coke/crack it just sucks to me. Idk. I wouldn’t spend my last dollar on it. Anyways it makes me wonder if any of my other coworkers do shit like this outside of work too. I don’t even know how I’ve managed this for so long. Like most of my 20’s. Still have good teeth skin and my sanity. Should probably stop while I’m ahead.

5/10 not the worst but it’s mid. Kinda tired now but have to get ready for work and I’ve got like 3 more hits I gotta take to stay awake. Ik I’m rambling I apologize but wtf. Cheers.