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I have feelings for a guy who smokes crack… can I ever even trust him??
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I really need some insight on this

About 2 months ago I met this guy in a super random way. We were both not looking to date anyone but we just crossed each other’s paths and had a connection. A couple of weeks into seeing each other I learned that he smokes crack. We would go on coke binges together but I had no idea at first that he would go hide in the bathroom or his car to go smoke crack. Then he admitted it to me when I went to his car and he was smoking, and I was distraught, obviously. I’ve never been around anyone who smokes crack and it’s been a whole ass rollercoaster because I haven’t left him yet…

It’s fucked because I actually really like him as a person. I’ve spent a lot of time with him so far and when he’s not binging he’s wonderful and I love being around him. He doesn’t smoke crack everyday, or at least I don’t think he does…? When he’s not binging, I LOVE being around him. But then when he gets a bender started, he gets extremely cold, distant, mean, sometimes kinda verbally abusive.

He’s telling me that he genuinely wants to keep me in his life but that he can’t stop cold turkey, so that he’s trying to reduce his crack use. It’s been a couple of times that we have plans, and then he shows up and I can totally tell that he started a bender. I’ve been letting him smoke around me because he made me feel guilty about me asking him to not do it around me, so he was just hiding to go smoke again. Anyway I’m just so fucking conflicted because I love the person he is but he turns completely different when he smokes crack. It genuinely scares me.

I’ve been trying to set clear boundaries with him. I told him we can snort coke together I don’t mind about that if we go out for drinks and share a bag that’s always fun, but for me smoking crack is a whole ass other level and I’ve been really hating how weird he gets when he smokes. He promised me that he would never ever influence me to smoke or pressure me to. I REALLY don’t want to try it. Like ever.

Anyway idk what to do because he can be so amazing but then he binges and gets mean and and it makes me so so so stressed out. I feel like he’s just going to keep lying to me and not respecting my boundaries. I told him very clearly today that I don’t want to be around him if he smokes in front of me or even if he goes hide to smoke; now I know what it looks like when he’s smoking and it’s really not fun.

Should I just completely cut him off??? Am I just wasting my time?

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1 week ago