Tale as old as time, I did too much K. For context, prior to last night, I had only ever taken 2 bumps on two separate occasions, and once did a small line. All three experiences were sort of boring, but the small line at least gave me a slightly trippy sort of experience when I layed down and closed my eyes…

Bought 1g yesterday. Figured, eh, since the larger amount is what ended up being something I vibed with, maybe I didn’t like this before because I didn’t do enough….. DUMB

I search online- “what’s a good dose of K?” “How much do you do in a night” etc.

I see people say they go through 100mg easily. More or less. But this seems agreed upon. I figure fuck it, let’s dump out a little pile from the G I bought. Crush it up. Rail it. Everyone else seems to like this amount so perhaps that’s what I’ve been missing out on. WRONG.

Rail the pile. Instant regret. Didn’t k-hole but I just felt off. Wobbly as hell. Drunk and stumbling without the euphoria. Lay down. This will help surely. No. Get smacked with anxiety and thoughts of being unloveable. Ok let’s distract myself I’m just high. OOPS phone screen is too bright and I can’t focus on a single thing. Ok let’s watch something happy? NOTHINGS HAPPY ANYMORE YOURE SUFFERING. I toss and turn. Plagued with anxiety. Why does no one love me? There must be something very wrong with me…

Stand up. I need to eat something and maybe bomb a Valium. Whocares.jpeg this has gotta help. Realize I can’t make it to my bedroom door without swaying like a tree in a hurricane. Still live with parents. This is a no go. Ain’t no way I’m making it to the kitchen without an issue. Pout and lay back down.

Queue like 3 hours of me deep breathing trying to convince myself I am not in fact the worst human on the planet and that I do have redeemable qualities whilst simultaneously being washed over with feelings of being the most broken and unloveable piece of shit that ever lived.

Threw on some dumb meditation shit. Sorta helped. Fell asleep. Woke up. ANXIETY.

Whole day I’ve been anxious. Like, non-stop weepy and anxious. Still feeling like the world’s unwanted garbage. Feel like nothing matters when I am so awful. No one will ever show me unconditional love. Had to take a 5mg Valium to even be able to function.

I’m not heavy duty into drugs. This post prob doesn’t make it seem like it. But I don’t really partake in much very often these days. This though has me feeling horrifically low and down on myself. I’m not sure why.

So I guess moral of the story is don’t be a dipshit about ketamine. Just do tiny bumps that you actually weigh out. Other people may have tolerances they’re not being honest about when they say they are doing 100mg in one go.

I think I’ll be fine I just gotta chill. Horrible time 0/10 wish I loved myself more