I’m pretty young, still in schooling and female. I started smoking when I was 14, but only vaping, I tried an edible for the first time when I was 15 and since then I haven’t not smoked yk? it’s a habit that keeps me sane. Recently I buy a new cart every month or so and the other day mine completely ran out. I was itching to feel anything, literally anything and contemplated going to steal my mother’s alcohol but knew I’d get caught so I crushed up my sleep medication and snorted it, immediately felt a rush and fell asleep after maybe a 40 minute high. I woke up 20 hours later with a raging headache, slept through my entire day and my friends were pissed I missed out on our plans. I don’t know how to process what I did, I knew it would be bad but I still did it and want to again. I feel like I sound stupid because it wasn’t even like extremely dangerous, and it’s an over the counter medication, but I’m still scared. No one knows I did this, and only one of my friends even knows I smoke weed. Ik it’s stupid but I want to take a tiny dose tonight just to feel something. My main fear is that ill self sabotage and get even worse, I’ve had opportunities to take molly, ecstasy and shrooms before but didn’t because it would be going “too far” in my mind and I think I just crossed that line. Any thoughts? Advice?