I Saw My Ex Husband & It Wasn't Pretty...

Tried posting in a few single parents groups but they removed it, not sure why but I'm pretty sure it will be allowed here! I really need to vent but will also welcome advice.

I will try to make this as short as possible. My ex husband, let's just call him J, and I were together for almost 10 years. We have two kids together and broke up about 2.5 years ago. J was very abusive to both me and to the kids and was actually removed from our house for violent behavior. He had some visits with the kids after we split but he quickly proved he was unfit in a lot of ways. He stopped contact with me and the kids about 1 year ago so I've been doing it all alone and he has never even paid child support from the beginning. I have seen him around town here and there and about maybe 2 months ago I saw him working at a local business, so he did have a job.

So fast forward to yesterday.. My friend is driving around running errands and talking to me on the phone and says "Omg I think that's J!" And I asked where and she says "huddled up in a bus stop with some people, a bunch of shopping carts, and they look like they are doing drugs". Now there are a few other people in my city who look ridiculously like him unless you are really close up so she wasn't sure it was him, but I needed to know as he still technically has some legal rights to the kids.

So I asked her to wait for me and I drove there and we walked by and I'll be dammed it was J, wearing about 5 layers of clothes, what looked like drugs (tin foil and a pipe of some sort) in his hand that he quickly tried to hide, skinny af, sunken eyes, and I'll never forget that look on his face when he saw me. When I got back to my car and was driving away I could see him standing on the sidewalk looking like a complete zombie and it was just shocking, I'm still processing it tbh.

It is so hard to believe I spent nearly a decade with this man, had 2 beautiful kids with him, and now this is what his life has become. But at least now one day I can explain to my kids why he wasn't around, but it will break their heart.

There was a time when he really tried to turn his life around and I had so much hope for him and it's just so sad to see such wasted potential. I do not believe he was using while we first were together, I think he might have started in the last couple years though because that's when his behavior got more erratic, money started disappearing and the violence really escalated from objects to being towards me. Obviously at some point he lost control and I sort of doubt he will ever get out of it now. I feel I'm just waiting for the inevitable phone call at this point. Sometimes shit just sucks and there is nothing you can do about it. What a sad shame though. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR saw my ex husband/father of my 2 kids, and found out he is homeless and doing hard drugs.