Recently, I tried MDMA for the first time. It was a really beautiful experience, but I don’t want to repeat what happened when I first tried marijuana. Back then, I liked it so much that I started using it every day until I no longer felt like myself unless I was high. It turned into a full-blown addiction before I eventually had to quit entirely.

Now that I’ve had that experience with another substance, I understand the importance of moderation and using it responsibly.

That’s why I only take MDMA at big festivals, and even then, only once every X months.

But there’s a question that’s always on my mind. The few times I’ve used it, I tend to take “a lot” because I want to feel the full effect, to get as high as possible. But at the same time, I hold back because I don’t really know my limits or how much my body can handle safely.

One time, I took more than usual and started to feel a bit nauseous. I decided to step away from the dance floor and take a walk outside. I focused on breathing and figuring out what wasn’t right. Eventually, I spat out the chewing gum I had in my mouth—it had gotten way too big—and I started feeling better. After that, I went back to dancing and didn’t take any more for the rest of the night.

Still, I wonder what would have happened if I’d taken even more that night.

I’m someone who tends to be pretty anxious by nature, and I still don’t fully understand how MDMA affects my insecurities because I’ve only used it a handful of times.

I’ve heard people say that under the influence of MDMA, everyone spills their deepest secrets and has no filter.

In my case, I do feel a strong sense of love and openness, and I have the urge to express how I feel to others. But even when I’m on MDMA, I stay cautious. I’m always thinking carefully about what comes out of my mouth. If no one else makes the first move, I might just stay quiet the whole time.

I don’t know if i am “weird” or if I haven’t really experienced the full effects of MDMA yet.

Some of my friends have even had hallucinations while on it, but I’ve never reached that level.

So, I guess my main question is: how do you figure out how much to take? For example, if I have a gram, I don’t know if I’m taking 200 mg or 130 mg. I just dissolve some in water and drink until I feel it’s enough.