I started smoking weed at 14, I quit at around 16 due to it giving me anxiety. I smoked everyday for a short period of time.

I used to drink after school, I never got completely shit faced but I got turnt none the less. I don't believe I drank more than the average UK teen.

I then had a brief stint with benzodiazapines. I did Xanax and valium a handful of times. A few super high doses aswell, 12mg Xanax and I had around 15 valium. I never really enjoyed benzos.

I got into psychedelics. I've done shrooms and truffles a handful of times, LSD once and 4-aco-dmt. These freaked me tf out, but they taught me alot.

I got into ketamine. I had some daily usage, but I've probably only consumed a total of two grams in my lifetime so I was far from a heavy user.

I did mdma twice. I was ignorant to it's neurotoxic effects, so I did binge on mdma the first time I did it. I had 333mg spaced out in the day, for three days straight. I also doubled dropped on another occasion. I quickly realised that this was unsafe and stopped immediately. I don't believe I am effected by my mdma use at the present moment.

I got into opioids at 18. I've done oxy, morphine, DHC and opium.

I never enjoyed using drugs, it was out of desperation. I feel really ashamed of myself. I hope I can move on from this. Especially with the mdma, it could of easily got wayyyyy worse. It still bothers me. In the moment, altering your consciousness seems really adventurous, especially if your in a really bad spot in life, but in hindsight it's quite disturbing.

What do you think my chances of recovery are? I don't look like an addict. My self esteem is very low, but I can fake confidence. I am popular with the girls. I can have a future, but what are my chances of recovery? What are my chances of being a happy human being again? I know it's all up to me, I have to put the work in, but I crave outside validation.