Inspired by that one post from today asking why we don’t give heroin to suicidal people. Ig it’s a debate of whether a poor (bit of an understatement) quality of life is better than not having a life at all. From the outside I completely disagree but it’s not so bad when you’re the addict. Addiction was the worst pain I’d gone through at that time mentally and physically but the opioids numbed it all out so well. Thinking back, my brain wasn’t functioning enough to even contemplate/carry out suicide. And why the fuck would I die when I had more purpose in life than ever before? My ex stoner/borderline addict friend told me that he respected addicts because they had the most purpose in life lmao. He’s right though. You’ll never feel more of a sense of purpose than when you’re that addicted and every day you wake up with just one clear goal. Wake up every day knowing exactly what you want to do and getting it done. You’re in constant pain and agony but miraculously suicide never quite crosses your mind. The closest you’ll get is realizing that you’re dying but not caring. Killing yourself but it doesn’t feel it. Being mind numbingly apathetic. Ima be honest I kinda really do miss those times, feeling inhuman.