Posting as more of a vent/rant but here goes anyway.

Ive done and still do many drugs, from tame ones like weed to hard drugs like meth and GHB. On every single drug I seem to have perfect control over. Could smoke meth and not think about it the next day, take some MDMA have a great time and not crave it, Even xanax didnt hook me.

But ketamine, something about this drug makes me lose all control. I physically cannot be in possession of this drug without sniffing it. For example, I picked up 3.5g of this drug on a friday night that I planned to share with friends come 1pm saturday at a festival, and I managed to sniff it all in the span of like 12-16 hours.

Also got pretty bad K bladder when i was doing 1 gram a day, was peeing blood.

i dont know what it is about ketamine specifically but I just have zero control. Its to the point where im doing it in places i dont even like it, at work etc. (Side note kholing at a desk in a corporate environment is one of the worst experiences).

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Im distancing myself as much as possible from K and am about a week sober.