so i'm last year high school, and this summer i had the chance to move to a tourist resort for work, becoming completely independent. i got a grasp of what it was like to be an adult. i had a job, i was getting money, i had to take care of everything by myself.

about a month before i started work, i bought a cart and had my first taste with weed. started getting high every night since i got it. when i moved in for work i was paired with a colleague in the same room who just so happened to be a huge former junkie. he only smoked weed at that time though, and literally the first night there i woke up at around 1AM (fell asleep high and woke up to brush my teeth) and he called me on the balcony. he just have me a j and said try it, i was basically half asleep so i didn't know what happened until i woke up the next day but i just got blasted and went right back to sleep.

less than a week in i quickly found multiple dealers (the place i worked at was next to a huge drug hub) and bought my first 1g of weed for myself. learned how to roll soon enough and started getting high everyday after work and having a chill time.

soon after, he got fired and i was left alone. i found a new guy who had more stuff. i started buying whatever he could get his hands on - xanax (didn't like it, used for emergencies when i had to kill a high), ecstasy (which contained MDMA and ketamine, i never knew about the ket until i asked him why tf i was in a dissociative state midway through my high and then he told me..), lyrica, imported weed, lots of alcohol.

and then, around 2 months after having my first experience with drugs, he brought my some really cut to shit crystal meth and i bought it, despite finding out i was ripped off later. i fucking loved the feeling. stayed up all night with a coworker, went gambling, ordered hookers like three times, got drunk as shit AND went to work next day.

soon after he left the place and i found a new guy who was selling me homemade meth (if anyone has heard of czech meth, it was basically that) and i very soon started going to work on an oral dose every day, and then getting home, snorting some more and ending the day with weed or alcohol. mostly slept 3-4 hours. this went on for about a few weeks. i was BREEZING through the hardest shifts and the manager ended up yelling at my coworkers cause i was doing all of their work and they had nothing to do so they just sat in their chairs lmao.

but after a few weeks, oral/snorting wasn't cutting it anymore..smoking was too wasteful (was doing it off foil cause i couldn't get a pipe) so i got this intense urge inside me to try IV. it felt like slipping into a trance, i was walking in heavy rain jumping from one pharmacy to another until i got my supplies.

i had researched the entire process. i had everything ready. i had a belt tied up around my upper arm and was about to mix the meth with water and do my shot. but something inside me stopped me. i put away all the stuff, snorted a shit ton and sat on my bed for hours just riding the high.

soon after, the guy ripped me off and fled. i had no connections anymore and a week until i went back home. i didn't like being sober so i was just drinking everyday. be it a few beers for a buzz or getting completely wasted, it was better than nothing.

after i went home and started school, i went back to just smoking a ton of weed. but recently, my guy had some really pure crystal from the darknet arrive. it's expensive as shit but i didn't care, i bought a gram to test it out. this time i had a pipe.

i ended up smoking it all in about 2 and a half days before ending my bender after getting 6 hours sleep out of a 90 hour journey. i didn't have all the money for another gram, but my guy covered for me and i paid him back a few days later.

since then i've just been buying whenever i can (wasting a ton of money i'll admit) and getting high everyday. i try to appear sober at school and take some breaks, i like sleep anyway lol. this current batch will run out soon and i probably won't have a taste at meth for some time.

what's your opinion? most people that i've told online are surprised that i jumped from a cart to crystal in about 2 months. to be honest i like stims a lot haha. anyways i'd like to be able to practice more self control, so any tips on that would be appreciated. this was mostly just a stim-fueled rant, don't expect anyone to really read through it i just had to let it out lmao.