So yea, title says it all.

It was worse once, if I had more - there was no stopping for me. Started with real weed, smoked for some time here and there but then I found that I can buy 1g of HHC distillate for half the price of weed.

So I have been smoking for 2 years now (I’m 19), in the beginning it was fine, i ordered 1-2g monthly and I was careful with it, until I wasn’t. Then I smoked as much as I could (2g per week) but then I found out about tolerance breaks.

First when I had a tolerance break for 2 weeks, the withdrawals were pretty uncomfortable (insomnia for a few days, no appetite, feeling bored) but it eased every time when I had a break.

I got to to a point where I realised that I am probably fucking my brain development up because I felt so strange. I had a 2-3 month break from smoking and I focused on my finals. I got my “pre degree” (you can have a degree here in my country with a high school too, idk how it’s done overseas) and I wanted to celebrate my first bigger achievement in life, so I got back to smoking weed again.

This time it was much more blissful, and it started to change me in a good way. My mind not going at 100% all the time (I have ADHD, I refuse meds) and mainly I see people and the world a better place now. I mainly started to smoke because of depression and anxiety.

Now that the depression is gone and my anxiety is affecting me significantly less (SSRIs helped with that, not weed), I do it for fun and relaxing.

I get home from work at 5PM, hands and back hurting. It just helps me wind down, relax and it gives me the energy to do shit before I got to go to sleep at 9 like going out to cut the grass. cooking up something or just playing a hour.

But I feel so guilty, like never before. I became an alcoholic when I was 13-14 but I can’t stand being drunk anymore, only tipsy. So I love drinking a few beers after work everyday, but I know it’s not sustainable so I gave up.

But still, I need something to escape reality. I was always this was, be it drinking or smoking, I need something. I never did and never will touch a harder substance (except some benzos sometime) because I would get addicted instantly. I know myself.

So help me out, is it that bad to smoke everyday after work?