need to know if someone’s in the same situation to me

i’m 17 i’ve taken like 50 ecstasy pills this year most of them were in a 2 month span i try not to do it often in the last 3 months but i still do it once a month. I’d say since March this year i’ve taken 50 some ecstasy pills and 2 grams of mdma crystal total.

my brain sometimes hurts probably because of this. i’m not trying to to flex i know it’s really bad im just scared i’m alone like idk anyone else who’s done this many pills and is still going other then me.

i can’t sit still and focus in class or on anything for longer then 10 mins. my short term memory is destroyed i can’t remember anything. i smoke weed literally all the time bc i feel depressed without it. what should i do?