i trip alone, mainly because seeing peoples faces on any psychedelic scares me but also just because its easier. every single time i trip my cat has been with me, and tbh she helps so much.

today my sister took her since TECHNICALLY it is her cat because when she was younger, she was the one that pointed her out at the shelter. my sister hasnt lived at home in over 7 years, and while she was at home, she showed no interest in the cat. i love cats so she has been my responsibility for almost the cats entire life. i pay for food, treats, i change the litter tray everyday, i play with her, cuddle her. my sister hasnt even seen her in months. when i was about 11 i even would sell toys i had just to make money to buy her food every week.

my sister recently bought a house and there was mumbles about her taking the cat to go live with her. i was against this from the start obviously, but i had been told explicitly that she was NOT taking the cat. the cat is over 13 years old and has multiple health issues and they didnt want to stress her out since shes lived in the same house her whole life. however, today i woke up and my sister was here with a cat travel box, saying shes taking the cat. apparently she made an impulsive decision this morning and now wants the cat to live with her.

theres obviously nothing i can do about it since it is technically her cat. i live with my parents and they said theres no way were getting another cat - not that id want to replace the current one anyways. ive never lived without cats, ive had them since i was born. i hate crying in front of people so i just stayed in my room, balling until it was time to say goodbye. i didnt even get a proper goodbye. when i went downstairs i went to pet her and my mom immediately says "you dont even care, do you?" and that set me off again. i just left the room to go cry in the bathroom. luckily my dad had my back and was quick to say "obviously she cares" and come check on me. then once i left the bathroom, she was gone. my mom laughed at me for being upset because "its not like shes dead" and "it couldve been worse, they couldve taken the dog". im never gonna see this cat again, never gonna cuddle her or anything so to me she is basically dead. my sister lives too far and i have no way of travelling to her. also i prefer the cat over the dog and my mom is aware of that. its the first dog my mom has ever owned and it was fully her responsibility. the dog is awful. hes extremely aggressive, doesnt listen to her commands, barks at everything. genuinely the only tricks he knows are the ones i taught him. he only listens to commands from me or my dad and he even killed one of my chickens. i do not like this dog, so no it could not have been "worse".

i had a trip planned for today too. i had to scrap it since i woke up later than expected and i actually want to sleep tonight, but instead of waking up to take a trip with my cat, i woke up to my cat being taken from me. she is the sweetest girl ever, shes never bitten or scratched anyone purposefully, shes never killed a bird or mouse or anything for that matter. nothing could replace my baby. i dont even know what to do anymore i literally have no desire to even do acid again. i know theres people in the world with way worse problems, but honestly it just feels like my world is ending right now. sorry for the rant.