As stated, I don't get high for motivation light headedness, drowsiness or any kind of high, it is like my mind has created its own altered reality and deprives my body until it gets that specific kind of insane altered reality that is actually real... and I am convinced As I sure theis will read differently in the morning it is a cry for help do to boredom. I have been up for five days straight, I think we can all fill in the details of why and for what purpose. Just to be silly and because I could, without reprocussions. Putting it out there in case I'm not seeing something obvious.

I have been aware of this for quite some time and have spent A LOT of time honing it, understanding and anticipating what happens next and it is very surprising how indepth the hallucinations and thoughts are. And with ABSOLUTELY NO BASES WHATSOEVER. People will have said things that not only that didn't say, but would NEVER say. Sober me creates no such conspiracies because life and people are in reality, boring as fuck for the most part...., but tweaker #9, knows my girl is cheating on me, because when she does laundry, it's just a little off from when WE do laundry... So of course she has bought two of everything and drops off old picks up new and heads to her fuck buddies place for an hour and a half of lovemaking and laughing at my expense. HOWEVER, identifying and stoping those thoughts are so... Soooo fucking easy. And it has made all the difference. And because it is a lesson only learned and can't be taught(you will go fucking nuts trying, it's like describing purple to someone who has never seen color.) she may be nuts now, and because I know it wears off, I'll wait. Which is why my brain has made its own kind of trip. I'm going to stop now, that's a lot of letters😁😶‍🌫️