This is more of a personal rant, idek why I'm posting it here, it's just where I feel I won't be judged for the decisions I've made I suppose.

So, until a couple months back I was on an antidepressant (Fluvoxamine) and an anti-psychotic (Abilify) for severe OCD. Eventually I decided to stop both because I was feeling pretty good plus I wanted to try drugs that wouldn't work at all while on said meds.

Fast-forward two months and I'm a bit of a wreck, mentally. I've resorted to taking benzos daily to manage my anxiety/panic attacks and flirting with starting a Kratom habit to manage my OCD and depression.

Ultimately though I realise that going down that route would in all likehood make my symptoms worse, long-term.

My psychiatrist wants me back on at least the antidepressant. It's been two weeks since our appointment and I still haven't found the “courage” to reinstate it.

However, deep down, I know that I will eventually have to. And I'll probably be on them for life. It's just a hard concept to accept, I suppose.

If anyone here has found themselves in a similar position before, please just tell me it gets better.

Thanks for reading.