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I cannot even amend to explain every singular thought that has come through my mind within the 2 week timespan since I have started smoking a cart; that I bought directly from a dirty fucking KNOWN methhead and spice user. Of course I know the first obvious point is to get myself drug tested and I am going to do so immediately, however- I am asking all of you what you believe I should do?- I’ve talked to literally every singular one of my family and friends and told them every singular inner thought that came in from the moment and they all said they believe me but they see my fact of insanity and thoughts of psychosis/hardcore paranoia. I also did more research because of the fact that drugs can be used to take literal complete mental control over someone, and doing the complete opposite of psychedelics:
Spice makes you believe- not that everything you have grown to know is false- but you never actually learned it, and you completely forget with that first ever, “spice smoking freak out!!!” That commonly goes viral on all YouTube videos, I think it’s because they truly never knew what spice could do to them, so they completely freaked out on it and it led to them forgetting they ever smoked it, staying smoking it, AND THEN THEY FORGET EVERYTHING THEYVE EVER LEARNED!
…and yet I still find god is real!
I know the most obvious thing is to take time before potentially medicating myself. However I also believe that I always am going to have to talk to another person to truly never go insane, because if you never have the thought of another person in your life, doesn’t that mean you can come to the HORRIFYING and HALLUCINATION-INDUCING effects; that it’s always been deep within the human mind, and all it takes is one singular person to actually change that forever. The belief of god is what keeps us going. I’m a white 16m, living in America.
(If you look at my last posts I’ve literally done fucking like meth and Calvin Klein for days straight so I think with a sheerness of confidence I have some type of mental condition, but I know I can always power it deep within myself just using what humans have given us: DRUGS!!!! 🤑🤑🤑) But then how do I still believe in god? Because the thought has always been implemented on us by one human who has seen it all, who had to have actually live through that same suffering AND FORGOT it all about them and truly forgave them, and lived a life of suffering before dying to truly be: “a messenger of god”
Im fucked yo!!! But idc, spread joy not negativity, I truly do love every single one of you now, and having said that and spread it into every single one of your heads: doesn’t that mean he’s real?
We’ll never find out. That is, the beauty of it all
I’ve also looked deep into Buddhist thoughts and I believe for simplicity they’re very right.
We are all just made for something!
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