Background: I really struggle to focus and get anything done at work or to socialize. I don’t have the energy for either and get distracted by anything else constantly. I’ll focus for 30 seconds at work and get distracted. Socially, I’ll tune out what somebody is saying mid conversation, so I have no idea what was said. I procrastinate everything like crazy. I can only ever get focused on things I am truly interested in, and that focus is extensive and a laser. That’s just a few of the reasons I’ve questioned if I have ADHD and wanted to explore if it’d be worth the trouble of checking in with a psychiatrist about it.

The problem: I’ve tried adderall a few times primarily to see if it would be beneficial for me. It really has been every time, but it only lasts an amount of time I have never heard of from anybody. 10mg IR in a social environment gave me boosted mood and energy. I was able to talk and be quick witted and enjoy the experience. That only lasted 15 minutes, then I was back to my normal state, maybe a little more worn out. I figured I’d try XR this time and at work instead. I could only find 30mg, so I went with it. I took it and was feeling motivated and ready to tackle everything on my to-do list and more within 45 minutes. The focus and motivation lasted for 1 hour, maybe pushing 1.5 hours. I very suddenly fell back into my usual distracted and totally unmotivated state, feeling fried with a slight nervous energy for the remainder of the day.

The same thing happens with other stimulants I’ve had. MDMA comes and goes in 20-30 minutes. Neither cocaine nor caffeine have any effect on me. Do I have an issue with metabolism, molecules, hormones, my body just hates me, or something else entirely?