My brother (m19) is dangerously addicted to cocaine and weed. I thought his drug use was just socially, at raves and festivals etc - however, recently me and my family have realised this is not the case. We’ve just returned home early from a family holiday due to him abusing drugs and almost literally killing himself.

It was a friday night and I thought me (f19) and him could spend some quality sibling time clubbing abroad under the one circumstance he doesn’t use. I’m at university so haven’t been very present with him this past year and was excited at rekindling like old times. First half of the night was perfect, few bars, catch-ups and he was clearly enjoying himself. Then as the night progressed and we made our way round the clubs, I’d noticed he was continuously ditching me and I’d find him with random groups of boys round the bathrooms. I kept an eye on him until it became a consistent trend within the night and I was sick of him leaving me as I felt unsafe.

Anyways, I couldn’t find him and asked the bouncer to see if he was in the bathroom. Next minute, the bouncer is chucking him outside and he can hardly walk or talk, cocaine (i’m assuming as it was just white powder) all over his face. I immediately said we’re going home as my parents were back at the villa 40 minutes away and I had no money or phone charge left. Then he turned violent and stormed off, I was obviously crying my eyes out and extremely emotional not knowing how to fix the situation. I used my remaining 10% to ring my parents for help as I couldn’t keep up with chasing him round the city. Bare in mind it was 4 am at this point. A taxi pulled over and asked if I was okay and what was wrong, fortunately I managed to fight him into the car home.

Then, once home, he had locked himself in his room and fell over somehow splitting his head open. Nobody had realised since we were all asleep until he came into my parents room COVERED in blood and completely unaware of what was going on. He was so out of it he had asked my mum for a drink meanwhile blood was gushing out his head, creating a massive pool of blood all in the hallway. It was genuinely a murder scene. I don’t know how to help him, I miss who he used to be, how he is without the constant need for drugs.

He suffers with depression and does NOT use drugs safely, there have been many incidents this year where he has been close to death - OD’s. I am so upset and scared of moving back to university as I cannot keep track of him. My parents are quite oblivious, especially previous to the holiday of how bad the situation was. He does not associate himself with good people or care for himself or others (as shown when he left me in the middle of the street abroad with no money or phone charge). I understand it is a cycle but I cannot help but resent him for the pain he is putting myself and my family through. But then I feel sorry for him since he is clearly just in self-destructive mode. I’m worried he won’t even make it to christmas, I love him so much please can someone give me advice on how I can protect / assist him in becoming sober.