i’m a VERY traumatized individual, & it’s a lot, especially lately. i had a stillbirth almost 2 years ago (anniversary is next week) & i had a pretty serious coke binge after i lost my daughter, but stopped doing it after ab 5 months, & picked up weed.

i had a slight drug issue as a teenager, but i personally think it was just me being a curious teenager trying to fit in.

my mental health has been SHITTT for months, & weed is no longer helping. i don’t feel high enough, ever. i blow through a zip in 3 fucking days. so, i’m now looking for a step above marijuana.

i just don’t wanna feel anything, i can’t handle continuing to think ab my daughter dying, getting the PTSD flashbacks, constantly disassociating in my head reliving every detail, i just can’t take it right now, not when her birthday is in a week. i don’t sleep unless i smoke myself into oblivion, so i’m just curious what the NBT is, or what i should try.

i don’t exactly have the best circle around me to where i can freely talk ab my daughter being stillborn & all the other trauma, so drugs are the only friend/support i’ve got right now.

sorry for the poor me dump, but this is where i’m at & hoping someone has any recommendations.