So i took em regularly for three ish months. Almost daily, around 2-5mgs a day. Loved it the first couple months. They felt nothing but great. I wasn’t doing great mentally, absolutely not, but i got through the days and that’s what mattered to me. Plus, i loved the high. I never felt sick from them, only dumb and disoriented but at the time that didn’t feel like a bother.

I finally tried to stop after a while. Had no big issues doing that. Some stomach pains, some time to let myself recover and become more clear in my mind. Then i was back to normalish. (I’m not sure if i felt shitty i can’t recall)

I went two weeks without them and i felt better by the day, but the cravings came back. I wanted to try something else, but at the time i didn’t wanna do MDMA, and i was unsure what to expect from amp, so i didn’t wanna waste my money on something that i might end up hating. Hence why i bought more KSALOL’s.

I bought two blister packs and used a whole pack in two days. Even after the very first pill, i started feeling awful once it wore off. Terrible stomach pains. I had to pop one immediately again for it to wear off. I used up the rest of them pretty quickly because of that. After i emptied the blister pack i felt horrified. The thrill was really gone, and i wanted everything to stop. I wanted to get clean.

The withdrawals from the second time when i stopped were awful. I had insane insomnia, stomach pains, had to go to the shitter all the time. I had insane depression, anxiety. Everything felt shit, but i slowly got better. The cravings came back though, but i managed to stay away from them as i felt better mentally at least. It was just the high i craved (but i guess there’s some underlying shit that makes me want to get high whatever. I’m not too good at wrapping my head around this).

Went like two or three weeks without them before i relapsed again just a few hours ago. I popped one mg before taking a shower and popping another one before work.

At first i felt this insane headache, now i honestly feel better from it so i’m not worried about that but i’m worried about the withdrawals once the benzos wear off in a couple hours. Should i not do anymore benzos today and just try to take care of myself, and stop completely tomorrow and just deal with everything consequence. I’m so done with them. And i want to stop by myself.

Please be kind. I feel slightly vulnerable right now and i want to know how to get better.

Right now (I’m kind of high so i might be talking bullshit) i feel like this isn’t as bad as it is. Work is fine. I feel okay. I know it’s cause of the drugs, but everything ended okay today and maybe i can keep that in mind once i’ve stopped again and have to work sober the rest of the week. Maybe that will provide some sort of comfort and i can use that to deal with whatever anxiety i’m feeling before going to work.

Am i too high to seem logical. Please be honest but please be kind.