Growing up with a mom who glorified the absolute fuck out of big pharma, I was put on about 20 different meds in my childhood. I had hallucinations, paranoia, mood swings etc. but never experienced any long-term effects until around the age of 13. Around that time, I was rapidly switched to several different focus meds that kept me quiet and docile. If I was dissatisfied with life or argumentative then my mom, retarded school administrators and doctor would all say I needed another upper. I was effectively forced to take them, over fear of being grounded.

I begged to be taken off them, because even as an 11 year old I instinctively knew they were messing me up. I fucking hated them. But again, I remained mostly the same until the age of 13 when my mom put me on Zoloft. That was when things started to change. I was on it for 3 years and through that time my brain fog gradually worsened. Everything felt more clattered and messy. Eventually I quit cold turkey when I was 16, along with my clonidine and melatonin which I had been taking for 9 years. I also wonder what damage those could've done to my brain and body development.

Anyway, life has been way way WAYYYY less organized since then. The difference between before and after I took Zoloft is extremely obvious to me. It feels like I lost a limb or something. I was an INCREDIBLY sharp and ambitious kid who was excited to persue shit every day. Laser focus was very normal to me outside of a boring classroom. When I started taking Zoloft, things just became a muddy impotent mess. I couldn't see a foot in front of me and although the brain fog has got better, it's still there.

The only thing that's helped me was vaping and monster energy drinks, but those are just temporary fixes. Is there anything I can do to bring my edge back and heal my brain? Shrooms? Acid? Over the last year I've made health and diet a huge priority and it's helped a ton, but a huge breakthrough would be nice. Advice?