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The first time was a couple of days ago and I took it for a test, I took more and ended up being pretty fucked up. I ended up crying, thinking about all the people I wanted to talk to and open up to, but I had other things to do again. Now let's get to today:
I'm currently ugly crying having just called my dad to talk for a while (I see him once a year for a week) and at the end of the convo I broke down ugly crying telling him that I miss him and that I love him (never said that to him in my life). Also called my mom and step dad who are gone for the day. I push people away cause I have the 'i don't need help, I'll do it on my own mentality' (and currently have a bunch of shit to deal with in my head) and I told them that I'm having a hard time, that I'm sorry I push them away and that I love them. Also had a great convo with my sister whom I also don't talk to much as she lives far away. What am I on rn? Amphetamine, I know it's addictive as fuck but it gave me the ability to speak out my emotions and seek help (it's my second time ever and I will never wanna do it too much as I know it will loose all that magic in no time If I do)
I just needed to write this down and need your thoughts, too, about if this is a good or actually a bad sign regarding my substance use. Also btw, thanks y'all for putting all this info out about substances and for helping people that need it.
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- 7 months ago
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