From what I know it seems hallucenogenics are the way to go. I'm after acid\lsd, MDMA, DMT or any other drug that can help you process, feel trauma, and take a journey. Are these the go to ones or do y'all recommend something else?

On another note, sadly I don't know how to find a plug for these things. How do y'all find plugs?

Context: I have beyond horrible self esteem, confidence and it stops me from living life. It really got very bad after I stopped taking mirtazapine for sleep which was an anti depressant. Now I have extreme depression and anxiety. So yes I am coming from a therapeutic approach. I feel like I need a shock to my system to kill my ego and finally feel all the hurt of past years. I am doing ketamine IVs but they don't put me on that journey by themselves. I have to do counseling with coach and therapist. This is slow and I still feel emotionally blocked. Hence why I ask